SC Riffs: Living Dead (A Legolas Love Story) (Olivia’s the New King Under the Mountain) – Chapter Two

Hello, and welcome back to – and I can do this properly now, since I have the fic’s actual title this time – Living Dead (A Legolas Love Story), by Olivia’s the New King Under the Mountain!

No, that’s actually the username. I’ll just call her Olivia for the time being.

Sorry, Olivia.

Sorry, Olivia.

Last time, shit happened. I’ve been riffing other stuff, so I kind of forgot what happened in chapter one. Or maybe I’m just repressing those memories on purpose. Hard telling.

In any event, we come now to chapter two, entitled, “Justine.” And I swear, I’m not going to make Amnesia jokes this time. I feel like I remember going overboard on that last time.

Author’s note~ Hey guys, thx for reading! just a note, all thoughts are in This font!

That still doesn’t matter to me, because the font doesn’t translate outside of Quotev!

Alicia’s P.O.V.

I woke up in a bright, white room on a soft bed.

Didn’t she get hit by a car last time?

My head ached as did my arm too.

Oh here we go…

*Alarms Blare*

Good ol’ DRD, always there to bust my balls whenever redundancies pop up.

Except this time I laid out a minefield to meet them.

*explosions outside the door*

Yeah, suck on that, dicks!

I opened my eyes to see a face that i’d never thought I’d see again.

Was it Shades? It was Shades, wasn’t it?

Shades, poking her head in Why would it be me?

Because you enjoy shooting Sues.

Shades: Then it might’ve been me, yeah.

“Justine!” I exclaimed She smiled at me, her long brown hair framing her face.

Ever since Tales of the Abyss, I can’t read about girls with long brown hair without seeing Tear Grants in my head. It’s a problem.

Suddenly it dawned on me.

“If you’re here, and I’m here,” I started cautiously, “does that mean that I’m dead?”

Oooh yeeeaaah, because Justine died in a time before this fic, and that’s what drove Alicia to practice martial arts! I remember now!

Yeah, bitch, you dead as shit.

“Yes and no,” Justine told me. “you died before your time had truly come. You have been blessed with the gift of resurrection.” It took a moment for her words to sink in.

Well, it’s less bullshit than some of the other plot devices I’ve seen fics like these employ.

“Does that mean I get to go back?” I asked. Hope filled my heart.

“Not exactly, but yes.”

Stop yanking us around, Justine! Is she resurrected or not?

“What do you mean?” I jumped up but winced as a shudder of pain whipped through my body.

Hmm… that was ALMOST good description. Almost.

Justine pushed me back down and softly spoke to me.

“Shhhh… my friend. You must rest. You will find out soon enough.”

What, are you suddenly some mystical being now? Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you have to pipe up with the flowery talk, bro.

I closed my eyes and drifted into a soft slumber.

At least it wasn’t a hard one.

*PAK*

*PANG*

*BAM*

***

Nice try, Shades.

Shades, with a sniper rifle: FUCKING GORRAMN SHITE!

3rd person P.O.V

Oh no.

Ghostie, if you’re reading this, the booze is in the cabinet.

Sean stood over Alicia’s hospital bed, holding her hand, tears silently creeping down his face.

The heart monitor was beeping softly. She was alive but barely holding on.

You know, I’m perfectly fine with drama in fics, but because I know that this goes to Middle-Earth in the very next chapter, I really CAN’T take it seriously.

Sean reached over and gently caressed her cold, pale face with his hand. How could he have been so careless? Sean lay his head on Alicia’s chest and listened to her slow, solemn heart beat. It soothed him to know that she was still there.

What sucks about this scene is that I know the author intends to hook Alicia up with Legolas, because the plot is in the title of the fic, so she’s having her die on regular earth and come back in Middle-Earth in order to sever this tie with Sean and make it seem less terrible that Alicia just decides to forget his existence. Problem is, it doesn’t work, because rather than have it progress logically and have Alicia just be ruined at Sean’s loss, she’s going to IMMEDIATELY go ass over teakettle for Legolas. Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this plotline before. That’s exactly how it goes, every single time.

Suddenly he paused. The beeping of the monitor had stopped and turned to one long beep. She was gone.

Yep, here we go.

Sean froze for a moment but then came to his senses. he slammed his fist on the “help” button and a moment later doctors rushed into the room. Sean just stood there, as the reality dawned on him. She was gone. For good.

And on that depressing note, that was chapter two!

Thanks for reading, folks, and stay tuned for next chapter! Hopefully we’re done with all this drama stuff and can get back to properly mocking this piece of crap! In the meantime, I’m SC, and I’ll see you next time!

…Oh, and Shades? You owe me a new computer monitor. This one’s full of holes now.

Shades: Damn.

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